Learning Outcome 1: Demonstrate the ability to approach writing as a recursive process that requires substantial revision of drafts for content, organization, and clarity (global revision), as well as editing and proofreading (local revision).
Framing Statement:
Looking through my revisions from my first and final draft a lot of my changes in this specific essay relied heavily on the global edits. From the help of my peers through peer review I was shown some points to focus on. One of them being the second essay in both drafts that are linked below. In my free draft I had opened it up with Yo-Yo Ma’s statements and that in a sense made the reader seem as that whole paragraph was about Yo-Yo Ma’s approach. That was not the case and I had switched the opening statement to make it connect to self and that it was about my own opinion rather than Yo-Yo Ma’s. This skill is necessary for the development of my writing, because if I was not able to globally edit my paper my claims and evidence would not get any stronger for my overall paper. Revising is a tough concept to see the first time reading through and it at times takes many reads to figure out your next move to make the paper that much better. A lot of my struggle had to do with sentence wording and from my first to final draft I had changed numerous sentences to make them more logical, and to provide more of the ability to expand upon the statement. In the intro paragraph of my first draft I had stated the sentence “without science, art is incomprehensible and vice versa”. This sentence though a key point in the argument did not belong where it was. Therefore through my revisions I made sure to incorporate what the science and art fields bring to the table and follow with that statement building into my thesis statement.
This form of global editing was a major emphasis in English 110, because if the global concepts were not strong and correct, the local grammar corrections would be worthless. That concept was heavily used because on our peer reviews and our self revisions we were to rely heavy on only using global edits and when we believe a strong final product was achieved were we then to locally edit to make sure all grammar was correct.
Links to both first and final draft:
